


The Stars Don't Care About the War

by Birdpeople (DeusExMachina)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: And my ideas on Eren's education, Just kind of a nice conversation, M/M, Plus existentialism, So this is not relationship-y at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 17:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2076396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeusExMachina/pseuds/Birdpeople
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re nowhere near as slow as I was lead to believe,” Levi remarked, surprised.</p><p>“I’m only really dumb compared to people like Armin or people who are good at learning things. I can think for myself alright. And my dad’s a doctor. He showed me stuff.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stars Don't Care About the War

  
Levi is sitting at the table looking over files and discussing tactics in a low voice with Erwin when he hears singing from the next room and is, of course, totally bewildered. To his knowledge no one stationed here can sing. So he of course gets up to investigate, peering into the kitchen where Eren and the rest of Levi's squad were assigned the duty of cleaning up and preparing the next meal but Levi's squad members are leaning against the various bare work surfaces and listening to Eren sing in astonishment.

It's not a language Levi recognizes, but what he can hear of Eren's voice over the hiss of the sink and the clatter of his washing dishes is a lovely, slightly shaky tenor. He glares at his other squad members until they notice and hastily return to work, but he doesn't leave the doorway, watching Eren and listening to how his voice steadies the longer he goes on.

He wonders what Eren's singing.

He wonders where he even learned to sing like that.

\---

He asks him later.

Eren's got his deer-in-the-cross hairs look on, exacerbated by gorgeous huge eyes and a nervous habit of hunching his shoulders whenever Levi confronts him.

  
"No one taught me to sing," he admits. "My mom would do it sometimes when she thought the house was too quiet. I would just listen. I'm surprised how much I remember." He shrugged. "She used to do it a lot more, when I was younger, but over the years not so much."

Levi considers him, frowning. Singing is more of a classical skill than the kind of basic set he would have assumed Eren had. "What kind of education did get? Before you enlisted," he asked, curious.

  
"It was kind of sporadic, actually," Eren admits. "There were lessons I could have gone to, but by the time I was old enough, my dad was out of town more often than not, and if I went to lessons, Mikasa would have followed me. I didn't want to leave mom alone that much, so we didn't go as often as our friend Armin."

  
"Oh?"

  
"Yeah, Armin was really into the whole learning for the sake of it thing. Smarter than anyone I know. He had these books," here Eren hesitated. "You've done your share of illegal things, haven't you, captain?" he asked cautiously.

  
"Are you accusing me, your superior officer, of illegal activity? Because I've gotta tell you, that's nine shades of stupid, kid."

  
"No! No, of course not! I've just heard, you know, rumors. And I was going to tell you something that's not really, um."

  
"Legal?" Eren looked at him pleadingly and Levi snorted. "I'm not gonna rat on you for something your friend did as a kid. Go on."

  
Eren laced his fingers together to stop himself fidgeting with the loose threads of his sleeve and took a breath. "Anyway. Armin had these books he would share with us. I think they were technically contraband," here he shot Levi a nervous look, but his superior just rolled his eyes. Eren continued, "They had pictures of stuff outside the walls. We had no proof they were real, but they seemed serious, like, they didn't seem like a hoax or anything. And Armin would read to me and when he read about the ocean and how it was salty and full of life it was, well. I felt awful."

  
Levi had been starting to look almost nostalgic, but that brought him up short. “What? Why?”

  
“Well, there’s no way he could ever get outside of the walls without enlisting. And I didn’t think he would ever enlist. I didn’t want him to.”

  
“ _You_ did,” Levi said. Eren made a dismissive noise. “If your friend really wanted to see what’s out there, he would have joined up or found another way. These walls may be the only things we know, but people aren’t made to live like this.”

  
Eren looked at him strangely. “Oh.”

  
“What?”

  
“You’re like him. You wanted to see the outside world.”

  
“You’re not wrong, but that’s not why I joined, all the same,” Levi growled.

  
“But don’t you think there could be something more dangerous out there than the titans?” Eren persisted.

  
“Like what?”

  
“Like you said, the people living inside the walls haven’t been exposed to whatever bacteria are out there for a few generations. Don’t you think there’s a danger that our first real breath of fresh air might infect us?”

  
“You’re nowhere near as slow as I was lead to believe,” Levi remarked, surprised.

  
“I’m only really dumb compared to people like Armin or people who are good at learning things. I can think for myself alright. And my dad’s a doctor. He showed me stuff.”

  
“He teach you to read?”

  
"Nah, that was all mom. She taught Mikasa and me to read and write. Like I said, my dad wasn't home a lot, but when he was, he would show us stuff in his medical bag and tell us about his patients. Mikasa wasn't as interested as I was, but he'd tell me weird stuff, too. Stuff I'd never heard of before."

  
“Yeah?” Levi asked, leaning forward despite himself, “What kinda stuff? More stuff of dubious legality?”

  
“I don’t thi-ink so,” Eren said, scrunching up his face. “Stuff about, I don’t know. Stars.”

  
Levi didn’t even bother asking him to go on, just gave him an expectant look.

  
“He would tell me stuff about the Earth being round.”

  
“Which is no news to anyone with a scrap of education, kid,” Levi said, exasperated.

  
“No, there was more. And it was news to me so. It seemed like it went with the rest, somehow. Anyway, he told me about how we go around the sun, which actually only looks the same size as the moon because of how much farther away it is when the moon is actually much smaller than the Earth and the sun is so much bigger that he could never really get me to understand it. And all the stars are suns like ours, some smaller and some bigger. And they’re all so far away that the images we see of them could be millions or billions of years old.” Eren took a breath, his eyes shining, and then went on. It was clear to Levi that this meant more to Eren than the ocean ever could.

  
“And there are other planets out there, like Earth, that also go around our sun but I don’t think any of them have the right kind of air or water or whatever for people to live there. And he told me all of this stuff one day and that night he took me outside and pointed to stars and told me their names. And it’s just incredible to me that there’s all those suns like ours out there and there could be more we can’t see, so many more we don’t have a word for that number, and it goes on and on and some of them might have other Earths.”

  
“Why do you care? Anyone can see the stars.” Levi asked bluntly. He knew a little of this of course, but the rest sounded like fairy stories, and he wondered why the esteemed doctor had told his son of these places so unreachable the boy was bound to think them perfect. But he drank it in, despite himself. It was really amazing to consider.

  
“The stars we see are older than the walls. Older than the war between titans and humans. And a lot of them will be there after it’s all over, and there’ll be new ones by then that people on Earth won’t be able to see for millions of years. I just like it. It’s so permanent. And it doesn’t hurt anyone.” His eyes were overbright now, smile wavering as he tried to control his voice.

  
“Kid?”

  
Eren took a deep breath and closed his eyes, mastering himself. Finally he muttered, “God, we’re not gonna survive this, are we? But I swear I’m gonna make sure Armin sees the ocean once, even if I have to drag his fever-ridden body there myself.”

  
“Fever?” Levi asked sharply. “This kid sick? I thought he was a soldier.”

  
Eren waved away his questions. “Nah. He hasn’t gotten them for a long time, but he used to get fevers as a kid. I guess I was remembering that before.” He laughed. “God, if he heard all the stuff I told you about him, he’d kill me out of sheer embarrassment.”

  
“So you’ve been remembering stars and fevers and singing. And you say you’re no good at memorizing things,” Levi muttered.

  
“It helps if I hear it. If I read something it doesn’t stick.”

  
“Huh. How many times did your dad tell you that stuff about planets and suns?” Levi asked, considering.

  
“Just once.”

  
“Hm. Next time we have a strategy meeting, come to me after. I want to see how much you remember of what was said.”

  
“Can do.” Eren made to stand. “That it? Are you taking me back to my cell now?”

  
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.” Levi stood too. “Just one thing.” He cleared his throat awkwardly.

  
“What?”

  
“Thanks. For telling me that stuff.”

  
“What? Why? I mean, you’re welcome but- why should you be grateful?”

  
“I just,” Levi was avoiding his eyes. “It’s a lot to think about, and I haven’t had anything new to think about for a while. And you’re right, existentialism can be kind of comforting in a life of constant danger.”

  
“Well,” Eren said, clearly embarrassed, “You’re welcome.”

  
“You said that.

  
“Right, sorry.” More shoulder-hunching. More wide eyes.

  
Levi sighed, slapped his shoulder. “Don’t worry kid, you’re not gonna die. And you’re friend’s not gonna die either. I don’t care if you think seeing the ocean ranks second-best. You might never see a star up close, but the sun reflecting off of all that water’s got to be worth something.”

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is quasi-birdpeople.tumblr.com. Come and say hi!!


End file.
